Crimezine chum the Judge, is a Southern gentleman amongst Southern Gentlemen, and big noise in the Texas legal scene. Some years ago, he made the acquaintance of a squitty young lawyer moonlighting as a writer. The aforementioned Lawyer hawked copies of his premier effort Time to Kill to everyone he met, the Judge included. The young squit had to—he had a garage full of the self published tomes—so many, he eventually had to toss them in a dumpster so he could park his car.
And so a dream would have ended. The young squit however was John Grisham and his next book the Firm became a publishing legend. The kind of book that big five publishers still discuss in revered tones over brunch at fashionable eateries from Manhattan NYC to Soho London.
Being a small town dreamer Grisham never really wanted to be a lawyer, hell no. Never wanted to be a writer either. Tell the truth, what he really wanted to be was a ball player. Oh dear. Harken to the sound of silver spoons dropping from the gaping gobs of literary yahoos in brasseries everywhere.
Time to meet Calico Joe Readers—a surprising and moving novel of fathers and sons, forgiveness and redemption, set in the world of Major League Baseball…
Zzzzzzzzz—Really? Now Crimezine loves the tactics of major league baseball particularly the tactics of gorging on smuggled whiskey and overpriced hotdogs, but Johnny Grisham writing an actual book on the noble game? YG2BFK we believe is the phrase.
Witness the pinch-faced discomfort of Grishers as he poses rigidly in front of an unrealistic Baseball diamond, burning with the painful knowledge that he could never have the talent to swing that bat in anger. Chortle.
As for Calico Joe, Crimezine suspects the resulting train-wreck will lead to a Moneyball meets chick-flick weepie that will have Crimeziners barfing in their cornflakes.
Stick to what you know Grishers, publishers and the reading public everywhere will thank you for it.
As for the Judge, he commented wryly that Grishers, ‘made a much better writer than he did a lawyer’, but he lost touch with the young squit after Grishers fled town. He woke up famous one day, found Japanese tourists getting married on his lawn,’ said the Judge. Fame is a cruel, cruel mistress.