Crimezine neighborhood watch: NCIS Hero LL Cool J takes the law in to his own hands and mangles intruder.

Posted: August 25, 2012 in True Crime
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Crimezine -NCIS

LL Cool J (foreground) Would you break into this mans home?

The Hollywood Hills, home to the rich and infamous. This week muscle bound NCIS heartthrob LL cool J got up close and personal with an ill advised burglar who thought breaking into Cool J’s Sherman Oaks home might be the thing to do.

The burglar, Texas transient Jonathan Kirby 56, a man with a rap sheet, (if you will excuse the rap sheet pun) going back decades, was pummeled comprehensively by the Jayster, receiving a broken nose, jaw, and ribs.

It could have been much, much worse: Crimezine is no expert in these matters, but burglarizing the home of a muscle bound rapper—a man with a weekly television show advertising well versed familiarity with fire arms of all descriptions—that would most likely figure very low on our list of home invasion targets.

We can only assume Mr Kirby is unfamiliar with Cool J’s work. The Jayster rose to fame with the hit song “Mama Said Knock You Out”. Owch!

LAPD are insistent that the Jayster acted in self-defence. Quite right too, but this being Los Angeles, Crimezine knows that the burglar is almost certainly working with a team of ambulance chasing lawyers intent upon suing the NCIS star for all manner of preposterous reasons.

If so, it may be sometime before the burglar gets to see the results of such action, his previous record could result in a sentence as long as 38 years.

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