Crimezine grabs a Gunpowder Milkshake

Posted: August 8, 2021 in Uncategorized
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Gunpowder Milkshake. Maraschino cherry with that, anyone?

Imagine if you will, dear Crimeziner, a world without “why”. A world where you can no longer ask how mom got to be a murder for hire killer. A world where that same mom would screetch out of the parking lot in a big black Cadillac, leaving you in the arms of a very bad man for fifteen years. Imagine this experience inspired you to become a killer just like mom. Every young girl’s dream, surely?

You can no longer ask questions, so it is best not to wonder about the bodies, and there are a lot of bodies. Hundreds. All of them men. Okay, one of them is a woman but you don’t get to ask about that.

Then there is the library. Everyone likes those. Why are there no people in it, aside from the glamourous/cantankerous staff of female librarians? You don’t get to ask. Nor can you ask why the books are all hollowed out to contain guns and other weapons. There are no customers either. But who really wants to go to a book emporium where all the reads are unreadable? You don’t get to ask, remember.

Talking of people. When was the last time you took a trip to the hospital emergency room and there was no one there? In this movie, there is no one in the street, or anywhere else either. This you might expect, as suited and booted bad guys are literally being bussed in to face their inevitable slaughter. [Either that, or Covid. Who really knows in the world without why?]

Slaughter features prominently in this bullet riddled shoot ’em up. The style and frequency of the cranial splatter is where inventive focus of the movie is centered. Nothing wrong with a little onanistic fetishization of guns and death, surely? Another question there, but that’s not allowed. The trouble for director Navot Papushado and co-writer Ehud Lavski is that the video game plot violence, and comic book nastiness of this movie has been recently out-plotted and out budgeted by a plethora of similar female shoot ’em ups, such as Red Sparrow. No doubt mention of such movies as La Femme Nikita and Leon the Professional had pulses racing at the Studio Canal development meeting. Sadly, this movie is not in that league, not even close.

Have no fear, Crimeziners, the Harley Quinnish silliness of the multi-talented Karen Gillan is admirably supported by a crowd of Crimezine favorites, including Paul Giamatti, Angela Bassett, and Michelle Yeoh. Shot in Berlin, the film has a refreshingly international look, despite the predominantly American cast. The CGI set pieces and athletic gun wielding will have John Wick fans swooning. Hurrah to that, says Crimezine. Who wouldn’t want bayonets attached to their handguns?

So why gunpowder milkshake, we hear you ask. Setting aside the fact that such questions may not be asked in a world without why, Crimezine can exclusively reveal there is a milkshake in the movie—and rather tellingly, that milkshake is vanilla.

Gunpowder Milkshake is available on Netflix and at selected cinemas, now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7ZrjXuNgmA

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