Posts Tagged ‘Robert Crais’

Robert Crais

Bonzo Bob Crais: America’s greatest detective writer

Crimezine neighbor Bonzo Bob Crais is without question Mulholland Drive’s favorite crime writer come dog walker. The New York Times best selling author and Olympic level BBQer is a legend, not only in the City of Angels but in Crimezine community at large.

It is with great pleasure therefore that Crimezine can announce that the Crais silent- writer—that marvelous machine that fills the Mulholland night with the mellifluous music of mystery— has fallen quiet once again, heralding the arrival of The Promise, the latest installment of the Elvis Cole Saga.

Times have changed considerably since the original 1987 outing of the wise-cracking private eye, in the gloriously named The Monkey’s Raincoat and in the ensuing years Bonzo Bob has been collecting literary gongs faster than a Hollywood traffic cop can dole out parking violations. As the years zip past, the unfeasibly monikered Elvis has come up against just about every kind of criminal conspirator you could name and a few more besides.

Some things remain reassuringly constant however: the grumpy cat, the A-frame house, Falstaff beer and the glittering backdrop of the city of Los Angeles. No one writes about LA like the Craisy one, apart from Raymond Chandler or Crimezines favorite Floridian, the awesome Conners.

Yes, the characteristic Cole wise cracks have been missing in recent years, but readers can be assured they are back in The Promise; a turn of events that has had Mulholland residents cheering in the street.

So what of the plot we hear you ask? Well, there is the nasty Mr. Rollins, a nice lady whose son has been killed and a terrorist bomb plot of the kind that would have the NCIS crew soiling their jockey shorts.

Then on page 76 Joe Pike turns up. He is wearing sunglasses. His lip coils very slightly, but he says nothing. Cole fans go ballistic. Mulholland neighborhood watchers start howling at the moon. Pike is of course the taciturn Yang to Cole’s ebullient Ying and has been for many a long year—since the Vietnam days in fact.

Vietnam? The calculations swirl. Yes, that is right Crimeziners, Cole and Pike are the same age as legendary Connelly creation Hieronymus Harry Bosch; the LAPD veteran who wheezed and stooped arthritically into retirement some years ago. No doubt Harry has many mysteries yet to solve from the comfort of his bath chair. But so do Cole and Pike, because they are now ably assisted by thirty-something Delta force whipper-snapper Jon Stone.

Jon likes guns and technology. He does the stuff the old timers can’t figure, like program the video machine—[Surely video stream from the internet?—Ed] You get the picture. Pike, Cole and Stone are like the Larry, Moe, and Curly-Joe of Crime fiction—

NYUK—Cole drops gags and gets into terrible trouble.
CLANG—Pike screeches up in the red jeep.
SPROING—Stone pulls open trunk full of military grade weapons.

Carnage ensues.

It is a wonder bad guys bother coming to Los Angeles at all these days—they really don’t stand a chance.

It is entertaining stuff of course. The goofball camaraderie and set-piece histrionics never fail to delight. Crais is a master storyteller, whose ligature tight prose never pulls out of the fast lane. It must also be mentioned that The Promise sees a very welcome guest appearance from LAPD dog handler Scott James and his K9 companion Maggie; stars of the awesome Crais standalone novel Suspect. A book that had Crimezine cocktail wrangler Consuela quite literally sobbing into her Chablis. We are Pack Crimeziners. We are Pack.

Bonzo Bob Crais is without doubt America’s greatest detective writer. Get Craisy, Get The Promise. Tell them Crimezine sent you.


Suspect: poochtastic.

As regular Crimeziners will know, Crimezine compadre Bonzo Bob Crais is well known in the Hollywood Hills as Mulholland Drive’s answer to pooch-fancying Dog Whisperer Cesar Milan. It is no surprise therefore, that Bob’s latest standalone bestseller  Suspect is firmly pooch orientated.

Suspect is the tale of LAPD cop Scott James and his shell-shocked former Marine Corps bomb dog Maggie. Scott is recovering himself, after being shot in a vicious robbery, a crime in which he sees his partner Stephanie brutally murdered.

Now, if you love dogs, and animals in general, you will love, love, love this book; if however you consider yourself a cat person, or think animals are only useful for annoying your friends  on Farcebook with, listen up, because Suspect is Crais’s most compelling and suspenseful crime mystery in years.

Best known for his excellent Cole & Pike books, Crais has written two previous standalone novels, Demolition Angel and Hostage, which was turned into a movie starring Bruce Willis. For newcomers to the Crais oeuvre, you may not have read his books, but you will almost certainly have seen some of the TV shows that America’s Greatest Detective Writer [© Crimezine] has penned over the years, including Quincy, LA Law, Hill Street Blues Miami Vice and Cagney and Lacey.

But back to Suspect, a novel that offers so much more than a man and dog fighting back against the odds saga, this is the kind of book that sucks the breath out of you and refuses to give it you back until the very last page, it is a relentless example of just how good a mystery thriller can be in the hands of a true master—there can only be one master, and that master is Robert Crais.

Bob is, at the time of writing, inflicting his collection of retina-scorching Hawaiian “fun” shirts on the residents of South Florida, but he will also be making a series of nationwide appearances throughout February 2013. Grab a copy of Suspect, & tell him Crimezine sent ya.


Robert Crais, Hollywood

Robert Crais, and the City of Angels

Crimezine is pleased to report that Bonzo Bob Crais is once more up and about again after his recent brush with death on a snake infested Hollyweird mountainside.

As exclusively reported in Crimezine, Mulholland Drives most famous detective writer has been bed ridden for literally months, after a quite grusome dog walking injury. resulted in him being stretchered off the sun-zorched mountain, where he and his ever attendant pack of slavering attack dogs were enjoying a constitutional stroll.

Thankfully Crimezine neighbor Crais is out of the danger zone and has once again been making a menace of himself in the neighborhood. As a testament to the great man’s healthful recovery we would like to share a picture of Bob standing triumphant atop  Mount Lee. Eagle-eyed Crimeziners may be able to spot the H of the Hollyweird sign directly behind Bob.

Note also,  Lake Hollywood in the near distance and the Hollywood dam, scene of many marvelous movie moments, most recently in the Martin McDonagh movie Seven Psychopaths, where two crooks conjecture about someone who got shot in the eye. Crimezine assumes the two reprobates were talking about notorious mobster Benjamin, ‘Don’t call me Bugsy ’Segal. who got popped June 20th 1947 in Beverly Hills.

Still, Crimeziners and Craisies everywhere will be pleased to learn that Bob is well on the road to a full, if somewhat gimpy recovery, and his latest standalone novel Suspect is due for release in January 2013.


Crimezine-Robert Crais-Suspect

Robert Crais: Suspect

Crimezine favorite Robert, hop along, Crais has, we are pleased to report completed his latest crime masterwork. Entitled Suspect, the book introduces two new characters, Scott an LAPD officer, who’s partner has been murdered and Maggie a USMC patrol dog who lost her handler in Afghanistan.

Scott and Maggie join forces as an LAPD K9 team. Considered damaged goods by colleagues Scott and Maggie have no one but each other, and develop an intense friendship where they both learn to love and trust again. As the relationship builds between man and dog, the two unlikely heros set about discovering who murdered Scott’s partner Stephanie.

Crais’s previous standalone works Demolition Angel, and Hostage, which was made into a movie staring Bruce Willis, were both excellent, and the great man has obviously been listening to Crimezines neighborly advice to take a break from the Elvis Cole Saga. Speaking of which, Crimeziners who have been hesitant to read the Joe Pike novels First Rule and Sentry should head to the book shop now, as they are both winners and offer fascinating new insights to Joe Pike and his relationship with Elvis Cole. Cole fans will be pleased to know that LA’s most jocular Private Eye features heavily in both books—from a third person viewpoint, which is offers a whole new perspective on the Cole/Pike saga.

Regular Crimeziners will not be surprised that Crais has finally succumbed to the temptation to release a dog related book. Often mistaken on Mulholland Drive, for pooch whisperer Cesar Millan, Bonzo Bob can regularly be seen pounding the pavement, followed by his pack of slavering attack dogs.  A sight that has become rarer of late due to the infamous twisted tootsie incident—which Crimezine has reported on at length in previous postings.

We can assure you that Bob is on the mend now and is looking forward to the release of  Suspectin January 2013.

Robert Crais: A dogs best friend…

Robert Crais-Crimezine

Robo-Crais puts his mutilated foot on the famous desk

As Crimezine reported exclusively last week, Mulholland resident Robert Keep the noise down Crais was horribly injured in a dog walking accident of frankly staggering proportions. Doctors have described the injury as: a twisted tootsie, with tenderized tendon torqueing.

Crimezine has been literally inundated with get well soon messages, wishing America’s Greatest living Detective writer a speedy recovery. By way of a thank you Bob has forwarded us yet another photo of the hideous injury: Behold, a giant Robo-Cop style foot cast, that looks suspiciously like a ski boot.

Eagle-eyed Crimeziners will notice that Crais has ‘humorously’ adorned the Robo-Boot with a Joe Pike style red Arrow. Note also the strategically placed crutches.

Craisies everywhere will be delighted to hear that Bob will be up and about in a few short weeks: no doubt charging around the neighborhood in his skin tight lycra-jogging wear as per usual.

Even neighborhood grouch Jack Nicholson is missing Bonzo Bob and his pack of slavering attack dogs. You seen that guy who looks like Cesar Milan the Prizzi’s Honor star inquired of Crimezine at a recent neighborhood watch meeting. Indeed we have sir, watch this space for further updates.


Writer Robert Crais Injured

Crais: injury not life threatening

Many on Mulholland are blaming Crimezine for local hero, Robert Crais’s recent hospitalization. Word is that our revelations regarding America’s greatest living detective writer and his spooky resemblance to Latino Pooch trainer Cesar Milan have caused an earlier than usual start to Craisie season.

As regular Crimeziners will no doubt know the Craisies are a rabid group of Crais fans who swarm in their thousands to Mulholland Drive each year, in devout pilgrimage to their crime writing hero. Apparently this has been too much for the billionaire author, who has until recently been able to avoid the adoring hordes on his nimble footed forays into the Santa Monica Mountains, with his attendant pack of attack dogs.

Unfortunately despite the “boyish” [©People magazine] publicity pictures, Bonzo Bob is not as young as he used to be, and he took a nasty tumble yesterday while avoiding a gaggle of autograph hunters.

Fortunately nothing was broken, except the hearts of the tearful fans who witnessed this harrowing incident.

Bob was stretchered off the mountain-side by an elite team of LA’s finest search and rescue professionals and is now recovering at home, reciting “I nearly died out there,” anecdotes to anyone who will listen.

Crimezine has, of course, sent an “amusing” get well soon note and a half eaten box of See’s Candy around to Chateau Crais by way of consolation. And in return we are pleased to report that the feverish tippity-tap of Crais’s typographical silent writer has been even more pronounced than usual.

Expect a new installment of the Cole & Pike Saga sooner than previously advertised.

Cesar Milan—Robert Crais—Crimezine

Cesar Milan (Left) and Robert Crais

Confusion reins on Mulholland Drive Crimeziners and I think you can see why.

Cesar Milan doppelganger Robert Crais has been alarming members of the neighborhood watch community, by sprouting a for-goodness-sake-cut-it-off chin beard. The facial fungus has resulted in an exponential increase in Cesar Milan sightings in the neighborhood and the Crimezine neighborhood watch hotline has quite literally been ringing off the hook.

Regular Crimezine readers will no doubt know that Pooch fancier Crais is fond of pounding the Mulholland neighborhood in skin-tight lycra jogging gear accompanied by his giant pack of slavering attack dogs, an act that has caused raised pulses amongst many of the areas more elderly residents, including Octogenarian thesp’ Jack Nicholson.

Mr. Nicholson has, like many seniors, in the area got one eye firmly on local property values and has expressed grave concerns that a “glorified dog trainer” might have moved into the area without the approval of neighborhood nabobs. The Witches of Eastwick star was much placated when Crimezine assured him that Milan has, according to recently revealed court documents, a personal wealth in excess of $45 million. The One flew over the Cuckoo’s nest star did however point out that $45 million is veritable pocket change, when compared to the untold wealth of billionaire author Crais, who’s latest book Taken has been topping the Best-Seller lists for literally months on end.

Crimezine blames Michael Connelly of course, who’s all pervasive presence In Los Angeles is known to influence Bonzo Bob to the extent that Connelly’s Harry Bosch appeared in the Crais book The Last Detective. The mighty Connelly has, as many Crimeziners are no doubt aware, been sporting an impressive and luxuriant chin beard since early childhood. Coincidence?

So next time you are cruising Mulholland, have no fear. The jogger with the attack dogs is simply America’s greatest crime writer going about his beardly business. As for the pooches—they are easily fooled by the new look and have been extra obedient of late which is fortunate, because the steady rattle of Keep-the-noise-Down Craises typographical writing machine indicates that he is working hard on his latest book. Crimezine will keep you informed of developments.


Craisie about Crais

Krista Morales might be an honor student, but she is a bit of a dumbo really. First she heads out into the desert night with her loser boyfriend, then she whips out her camera phone to take pictures of heavily armed human traffickers on a murder rampage. Presto, Krista and the loser get kidnapped and that means TROU-BLE!

Taken, is the latest read by Crimezine neighbor Robert Crais, The keep the noise down king of Mulholland Drive, is currently riding high of the Bestseller Charts and rightly so.

This is Bonzo Bob’s fifteenth Cole and Pike book—that is a lotta sequel’s Crimeziners—can you imagine Pirates of the Caribbean 15—would you want to? Quite. Crais is to be commended for bravely moving the franchise forward, in a variety of innovative ways. The recent Joe Pike books First Rule and The Watchmen are good examples of this steadfast refusal by Crais to stay safe and formulaic.

Kudos too for this well researched commentary on human trafficking on the US/Mexico border, a world that is so relentlessly vile and gruesome it is almost impossible to describe without inducing a protracted bout of nausea.

Crais has noticeably tightened up on his writing style with this book, using shorter snappier sentences, and other devices such as a non-sequential plotline and multi-character viewpoints. Such experimentation is to be commended. Trouble is readers are fickle and possessive—they get upset when a winning formula evolves and the Cole & Pike saga is starting to feel that burn.

Crimezine has commented before that Elvis Cole is losing much of the wisecracking charm that made him so appealing in the classic Cole & Pike novels, this morose trend continues with Taken, a frustration for many regular readers. But Crimezine suspects this is a serious effort by America’s Greatest Detective Writer [© Crimezine] to give  Elvis Cole more gravitas, which is to be commended, as other crime writers, have gone the opposite extreme, and mired their characters with mad-cappery, which can be both tiresome and distracting.

There are always risks with such a forward thinking attitude however. Many readers do not want their favorite characters to evolve—The Craisie faithful are fervently loyal and quickly riled. You better not mess with the Craises Bob—no-siree! Crimezine often has to venture outside our Mulholland Drive HQ with a big stick during Craisy season, a time when busloads of Bob’s adoring fans clog the street for months on end, with gratuitous acts of fandom and brassiere tossing lustiness. Crimezine suspects Craisies will eat this book up—but their appetite is voracious, will Bob be able to feed that hunger indefinitely?

Crimezine loves this book, and you will too. Robert Crais is an awesome writer. We would suggest however that the next Elvis Cole novel is a back to basics classic. Perhaps Bob could hammer out his creative frustrations on some new stand alone novels, like he did with Hostage and Demolition Angel. We would love, love, love that! No doubt Hollyweird would too.

Still, back to the haddock brained Krista Morales. Her mom Nita is thankfully smart enough to send Elvis on a rescue mission, but wouldn’t you know it, our favorite private eye ends up getting kidnapped too, Duh! Thankfully Joe Pike and Delta Force chum Jon Stone are on the case too, so we get a story that is a true fifty-fifty split between Cole and Pike, which leads to the kind of gruesome action we know and love. Get your mirrored shades on Crimeziners! Yayyyyy!

Tee Line Up

Line Up is Hot!

It is rare that Crimezine Chum Lee child makes recommendations. So when the mild mannered Brummy got on the Bat Phone from his New York eerie and advised us about The Line Up Crimezine immediately sat to attention poolside, almost spilling a soothing glass of delicious breakfast Cognac in the process.

The Line Up, or to give it its full title The World’s Greatest Crime Writers tell the inside Story of Their Great Detectives, is edited by crime fiction legend Otto Penzler the brains behind NYC’s truly awesome Mysterious Bookshop.

Crimeziners will no doubt have heard of Otto and his tireless dedication to all things crime fictional, either way, this collection offers deft and fascinating insights into the worlds of your favorite crime fiction characters and the authors who created them.

We get offerings from Robert Crais, Michael Connelly, Jeffery Deaver, and the legendary Kellerman Dynasty. We also get welcome contributions from Brit super star Ian Rankin and the chain-smoking Child, as well as a host of other writers, some of whom you may know and others—well this is the kind of book that will lead you in the direction of new favorites. And you just know that if Otto thinks a writer is worth inclusion—we are talking hot tamales with extra chili sauce Crimeziners! You heard it. This book is Hot, hot, hot!

Don’t forget to wash down with a three-fingered cheerer of you favorite tipple and enjoy. Tell ’em Crimezine sent ya!

Connelly, Crais, Crimezine

Conners & Bob: Crime legends

Lucky Crimeziners who live in Los Angeles, should head on down to Lincoln Middle School Auditorium, 1501 California Ave, on Saturday 25 February 2012 where best selling authors and Crimezine chums Michael Connelly and Robert Crais will discuss the influence of Raymond Chandler  on the crime genre and their work in particular. Bonzo Bob tells Crimezine he will also blather on about all matters regarding the City of Angels and the world of crime writing so get your questions ready crimeziners.

Natch, the two crime writing legends will use this as an opportunity to shamelessly hawk their latest wares. Crimezine understands they will even sign insulting messages of your choice inside.  Entrance is free. Limited parking is available on-site.  Seating is first come, first served. No reservations. The event kicks off 7.00 til nine.

Naturally Mulholland Drive residents will be attending en mass, so get there early.