Posts Tagged ‘Taken’


Dapper Don Cornelius

Flags, like our flared trousers, are hanging half mast this week Crimeziners, as Mulholland friend and neighbor Dapper Don Cornelius the godfather of groove-tastic Seventies music show Soul Train chose to shoot himself, rather than dwell on the pain of divorce and debilitating ill health, which has plagued him for many years.

Don is the man who launched a thousand music careers, a myriad funky dance moves and some of the most ludicrous fashion crazes popular culture has ever encountered. We love you Don, your legacy lives on.

Speaking of neighbors, Curtain-twitching Crimeziner and colossus of Crime Fiction Robert keep the noise down Crais is back in town, after a trip to Mystery One Bookshop in Wisconsin, where he no doubt inflicted his cheeky-chappie persona (and garish taste in socks) on local crime fans. Crais is currently promoting his latest Cole & Pike bestseller, Taken.

Thankfully Bonzo Bob is now safely back in Los Angeles, where he will be making a ‘grueling’ series of public appearances this weekend at Mysterious Galaxy Redondo Beach [2/5/12] followed by Book Carnival on Tustin Av, Saturday, and Mysteries to Die For on Thousand Oaks Boulevard Sunday. No sulking out of towners Bob is like Santa Claus and he will get to all of you eventually.

Lastly a word of cheer. St Albans State Prison has an inmate run print shop where all manner of naughty shenanigans have been occurring. The trouble started when Vermont State Police put in a decal order for their Police cruisers.

The Vermont State Police emblem is a colorful affair featuring, among other things, a jolly spotted cow standing in a lusciously verdant pasture. How nice! Vermont is after all the Green Mountain State.

Pig Cow

Unfortunately for the State Police, one of the prisoners in the print shop decided to subtly alter the image of the cow, so that one of cow’s splotchy patches became a pig. Apparently this tomfoolery will cost an astonishing $780 to put right and the lags in the prison print shop will have to foot the bill.

Crimezine thinks the dumb ass in county hall who thought up the idea of convicts decorating cop cars should pay. Although we are sure the state legislature could collect many times this figure to actually keep the ‘new’ logo.

As always in parting, Crimezine & Don Cornelius wish you Love, Peace and Soul.


The scene Mulholland Drive, Los Angeles. Crimezine  enjoys a soothing poolside cocktail and a leisurely leaf through the latest Robert Crais novel Taken, but  a strange disturbance is afoot.

Robert Crais- craisies-Crimezine

Craisies: Don’t fancy the one with the tache much Bob

No, we are not talking about high-pitched neighbor Jennifer Aniston, as she paces her back yard in a velour leisure suit, script in one hand, giant slab of pizza in the other, shrieking lines from her latest rom-com.

Nor are we talking about the clickity-clack of Bonzo-Bob Craises vintage Remington “typographical writing machine” as he cranks out the latest instalment of the ongoing Pike and Cole saga, in typical Chandleresque fashion.

The disturbance of which we speak is altogether more disturbing. The “Craisies” have been thronging the neighborhood for several weeks now. Turns out “Keep the noise down” Crais has become something of a MILF Magnet . The result? Hordes of swooning soccer moms filling the street outside the Crais residence on a daily basis, and it is becoming something of a neighborhood nuisance.

Crimezine has tried earplugs naturally, along with ratcheting up the volume on out backyard PA system to rock concert volumes, but still the clamour of the Craisies persists. It is like Beatle mania all over again, or so former lothario/ neighborhood grouch Jack Nicholson grumbled to Crimezine at a recent neighborhood watch meeting. Crimezine is tempted to agree, but we suspect Mulholland Drive’s most famous Lakers fan is simply jealous of all the

Robert Crais-Taken-Crimezine-Tony Bulmer

Robert Crais: Taken

attention that Crais is getting.

Luckily Crais missus, the pulchritudinous Pat,  is also a blackbelt in Taekwondo and although she is known locally for her stoic nature, she is also adept at dealing with her hubbies growing army of fans. Crais who has been described in People magazine, as having a boyish, huggable quality,  is saying little, although Crimezine has received the usual collection of Keep the noise down, I am working calls, on our answering machine, so we can reassure Crimeziners and Craisies alike, that the great man is hitting his daily word count, unperturbed by the recent attention.

Robert’s latest novel, Taken is available in bookstores January 10, 2012.